


31 Days

by WhisperingMirrors



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Communication Failure, Halloween, M/M, Mutual Pining, Stalking/Secret Admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 01:35:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16419935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMirrors/pseuds/WhisperingMirrors
Summary: Now it is October 1st, Mickey figures he has 31 days to do something and get it done by Ian's Halloween party.





	31 Days

**Author's Note:**

> So this was kind of inspired by a song Gonna get close to you by Queensryche (included if you want to listen), well I got the idea listening to it. I intended to write a creepy Halloween one shot but it didn't really turn out that way. I hope you enjoy it either way. Happy Halloween!

Mickey Milkovich was really not a bad guy. Sure, he did a lot of questionable and criminal things growing up, but nothing he can do to change that now. He has changed as he got older, but nothing he can rationalize explains how his new hobby has been following Ian fucking Gallagher around and spying on him for a couple of months since Ian has been back. How the fuck did he end up here? And what was he going to do to change that and just go for what he wants. What he wants is Ian Gallagher, and he is going to make it happen. He is just not sure where to start.

Now it is October 1st, Mickey figures that by the Halloween party at the Gallagher's this year will give him enough time to figure all this out. It is going to be a costume party so perfect time for him to get the nerve to approach Ian and ask him out. He has fucking tried but he just can’t do it. So, he has 31 days to do something and get it done, fuck his fears.

_________

Mickey really started liking Ian years ago when he was his sister Mandy’s so-called boyfriend. At the time, he was way in the fucking closet, scared of his Dad and in denial. He tried everything to get over his attraction to the redhead but nothing worked. He finally accepted what he was feeling for Ian was real but tried his best to ignore it and stayed in the shadows.

Mickey would hang out with them sometimes and got to know Ian, making everything worse. If he would have been fucking paying attention instead of trying to ignore what was going on inside himself, he would have known that Ian was gay also. For a long time, he really thought Ian and Mandy were really together. What an idiot he had been.

Mickey found out about Ian a few months after he went and joined the Army when he decided to come out to his sister and brothers. Their father had been arrested, seemed he would be locked up for a long time. Mickey was tired of pretending he was out there bangin’ random girls and having to make up shit about it when they started asking questions. So, he just blurted it out one day when they were all high watching some stupid movie. Surprisingly they all didn’t really seem to care, they were surprised but didn’t care like he thought they would. He was expecting at least one punch or harsh words about how disgusting he was, but neither ever came. They told him that was dads fucked up shit, they can think and feel however they fucking wanted too and so could he. Although now he was literally the butt end of many jokes, especially from Iggy. Iggy seemed to find it all really amusing, fucking idiot.

Mandy was another story. The bitch actually laughed, after she laughed for a few minutes, she spoke and shocked the hell out of Mickey. “Man, this is just too much. I can’t believe it, Ian would have lost his shit if he knew you were gay.”

Mickey looks at her, eyebrows raised, confused. “Tha fuck you mean, why would he care?”

Mandy is still laughing, “Fuck, how could you not even notice. Ian had the biggest crush on you, always trying to stare at you when he thought no one was looking. I called him out on it and he told me all about how he felt about you.”

Mickey shakes his head, “Nah, that’s not fuckin’ true. I mean... he was your boyfriend for years.”

“Fake boyfriend, benefited both of us at the time. But did you ever see us kiss or umm, think it was fucked up that I ended up bangin’ his brother?”

Mickey was fucking lost, what the fuck. He did not admit to Mandy that he also had a crush on Ian, since she said had, as in past fucking tense. So, he likely got over it, unlike how he was not able to. “Nope, just thought you were a fuckin’ skank, that’s what they do.” Although he did wonder why she would drop Ian, who was fucking perfect and everything anyone would want for Lip, the biggest douchebag he has ever met. Ian and Mandy were still together a lot, he honestly didn’t think too much about it back then.

Mandy slaps his arm, “Dickhead! Anyway, I am going to have to tell Ian all about this next time I talk to him.”

“Please fuckin’ don’t, I don’t know why I even told you guys besides being tired of lying mostly to myself. Let’s just leave this between us here. If I want other people to fuckin’ know I will tell ‘em.” Mickey pleaded, tensing up.

They all agreed, then Mickey changed the subject, needing to process this new information. Damn, was he high all the time back then or what? Either way, Ian was gone now, not much he could do about it now.

______________________________

A year later, Mickey found out through Mandy that Ian was coming home. He was being reassigned to a different position in the Army due to bipolar disorder. She said some shit went down and he needed a change, but didn’t elaborate. Mickey tried to find out all he could on bipolar disorder so if the time ever came he could be there to support Ian. He remembered all the shit Ian went through with his mom being bipolar, so this couldn’t be easy to accept for him. But he will be alright, he has to be and Mickey will be there for him when he gets back.

Or so he thought, turns out when Ian returned, Mickey fucking hid and avoided him leading him to think _what the fuck am I doing_. Mickey isn’t sure when he lost his confidence or his mind but it only seems to waver where a certain redhead was concerned. Ian made him nervous unlike anyone else, he didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of him, just Ian and that was the problem. This is how he ended up following Ian and making a stupid plan to win him over, secretly apparently.

________________________________

Ian has been back in Chicago for a while now and he keeps getting the feeling that he is being followed or watched. He hopes his meds don’t need to be adjusted already due to this paranoia he feels. Overall, he seems ok, he doesn’t feel like he used to but those days are long gone now. He is managing his condition; no way is he ending up like his mother. Today he wants to go over to Mandy’s to talk to her, maybe get lucky and see Mickey too.

Ian made his way over to Mandy’s and knocks on the door, looking around, he still feels like there are eyes on him. He loses the thought when Mandy answers the door and invites him in. They sit on the couch then Mandy asks, “Why did you want to come over here, you know I was going to go by later.”

Ian sighs, “Oh I know, I just needed to walk to clear my head, thought I would come by here for a change of scenery.”

“Oh yeah, so lovely over here.” Mandy replies sarcastically.

“So where is everyone?”

Mandy makes her way to the kitchen to get them something to drink, “I don’t know really, I don’t keep track of my brothers.” she hands Ian a drink, “Lets enjoy it while we can.”

Ian tries to think of a casual way to ask about Mickey but figures he will just ask. He hasn’t seen him in so long. “So how is Mickey? I haven’t seen him since I have been back.”

“He is doing good, probably at work. Why do you want to know?” Mandy knows what Ian is doing, surprised it took him weeks to ask.

Ian nods, “Oh, I thought he might be mad at me since I didn’t really keep in touch while I was away.”

Mandy laughs a little, “Why would you think that, he isn’t exactly the letter writing type or the phone call kind of guy either. I doubt he was expecting you to anyway.”

“Oh, I know that’s why I didn’t even try. Then I thought if I called, it would be weird so didn’t do that either. I wanted to though.” Ian shrugs.

“I am sure you did lover boy. Well I could have passed the phone to him when you called me, if you wanted to say hi so bad.” Mandy teases.

“Shut up, it wasn’t like that, I mean we were sort of friends before I left I though. So, does he have a girlfriend now?” Ian smiles, he doesn’t know why he wants to torture himself with this info but he can’t help it, Mickey is forever in his thoughts, the guy he can never have.

Mandy laughs again, thinking guys are such idiots but she promised Mickey she wouldn’t tell anyone so she won’t. “Ummm, no but you should really catch up with him soon. I can’t believe you still have a fucking crush on him. What if you think he is ugly now, it's been a while?”

Ian rolls his eyes, “I fucking would if I ever saw him. I don’t have a crush on him, I am just really curious how he is and what’s going on in his life.” And maybe he still did think about Mickey all the time, he can’t help it. “And I doubt he would suddenly be ugly to me, not possible.”

Mandy shakes her head, “Ok, just saying you should talk to him.” She changes the subject before she accidently clues him in and says too much. She doesn’t know where Mickey’s head is at so she really can’t say anything anyway. She needs to change the subject, “You want to watch a movie?”

_____________________________

So, Mickey didn’t really have a good plan yet. Every time he felt he could approach Ian, he would chicken out and end up following him like a creepy stalker, which was not what he intended to do but it became a “thing” he would do. One night he followed Ian and it brought up so many different emotions Mickey just was not used to. He did not know what to do besides freak out internally and yell at himself to hurry up and ask him out before he lost his chance.

The fateful night, Mickey quickly realized he followed Ian on a date, fuck that. Well it wasn’t really a date but a quick fuck out in the alley behind a bar. When Mickey realized what was happening, it was too late and he couldn’t look away. He knew he should turn away and leave, but he decided to stay and fucking torture himself. Many thoughts passed through his mind quickly, first was anger. He was so pissed off then realized he had no right to be. Then he was jealous, wishing he was the guy Ian was banging hard and fast just like how he like it. Fuck, he was mesmerized watching Ian and just as quick as it started it was over, Ian walked away without a word to the guy. And if Mickey would have been paying attention to anything other than Ian, he may have noticed the guy resembled him a little bit.

In that moment Mickey realized if he didn’t do something soon he would lose his chance and Ian could actually start dating someone else. Mickey understood the need to get off though and he usually did the same thing, so it is time to do something.

That night when Mickey went to work he explained partially what was going on to his co-worker/friend Kara while they were stocking shelves. He enjoyed his night stocking job, it wasn’t fancy, pay was ok but it was legal and away from most people. Kara was a cool girl, with long auburn hair, she reminded him of Mandy in some ways and they became friends quickly.

“So, you are telling me that confident and badass Mickey Milkovich is having problems approaching someone? Now I really want to meet him if he can intimidate you of all people.” Kara asked.

“He does not intimidate me,” Mickey argues.

Kara shakes her finger at him, “After what I just heard, yes he does.”

Mickey shrugs his shoulders, thumbing his bottom lip, “Whatever.”

“You look so cute when you are embarrassed but I have an idea. How about you let me help you and turn you into more a secret admirer instead of a stalker while you gather the balls to ask him out?”

Mickey huffs out, “Hey fuck you, I ain’t cute or embarrassed.... but I am open to some ideas.”

“Well best thing to do would be to just ask him out but since that is too hard for you let’s come up with something else.”

Mickey waves his hand around, “Don’t be a bitch right now, I need help.”

Kara laughs, “You like my bitchiness... it counteracts your asshole like tendencies... Anyway, tell me more about Ian.”

They talk for a while about Ian and some ideas to how he can get over whatever is holding him back. Kara thinks it is his lifetime of repression and he doesn’t know how to express himself along with a fear of rejection. Mickey thinks maybe she is right, he has never put himself out there so it's all new to him and maybe he was a tiny bit afraid, what if Ian said no?

“I have some ideas of gifts and since it is close to Halloween, I have some crafts I have been working on. I will donate some to your cause, make a couple special ones just for you. Let’s meet up this weekend and get everything together.”

Mickey nods his agreement, what does he have to lose besides his dignity. Now time to get back to work.

_____________________________________

Ian gets home after a long day at work, he just wants to relax. Who knew sitting at a desk all day was more exhausting than the physical job he used to have. Well more mentally exhausting anyway and his eyes hurt from the computer screen, days just went by so slowly. He missed his old job but knows working in the recruiting office was for the best, that way he couldn’t let anyone down if he has a bad day. Even though he was currently stable, doesn’t mean something couldn’t happen one day down the road. This just felt safer and he can go to college too, just needs to figure out what he wants to study.

His brothers and sisters haven’t paid him much attention since he’s been back, they all have their own shit going on. But when he walks in today, they are all in the kitchen trying to figure out what something is on the table.

Ian walks over, “What’s going on guys?”

Debbie excitedly walks over, grabs his arm and pulls him to the table, “Oh Ian your home, this came for you earlier.”

“Yeah, we were trying to see what’s in it” Lip casually says staring down at a basket.

Ian looks over and sees a good-sized Halloween themed basket, so strange who would send him a gift. The basket is wrapped in black and orange cellophane so can’t see too clearly what’s inside. He grabs the envelope attached which feels like has something else inside, so he stuffs it in his inside pocket to open later, surprised none of them opened it already.

Debbie groans, “We want to know who it's from.”

Ian smiles at her, “Well too bad.” Although he wonders as well but he can wait.

Ian unwraps the basket, it is filled with random items; candy, couple of sports drinks, a few protein bars, which he notices are his favorite. There is an orange and black interesting looking candle, also a worn leather wrist band with a type of pendant with a black background, his initials I.G. on the inside, made from something he couldn’t really tell what though. Carl grabbed it before he could look closer and Debbie grabbed the candle.

“This candle is sweet and it smells like lemongrass, can I have it?” Debbie asks while examining and smelling the candle.

“Umm... No.” Ian grabs it back lifting it to his nose, the candle does smell really good.

“Fine I am going to look up what kind it is, I haven’t seen one like it before and get one myself then,” Debbie pulls out her phone to start searching.

Ian thinks it is a really nice candle, he loves the colors but this is an odd basket, he really wants to know who sent him this but remembered he decided to find out later in private. Although it may just be from Mandy, because he can’t think of anyone else who would.

Fiona is looking over Debbie’s shoulder, “Well looks like it is an ice candle, it is made with ice cubes. Interesting, probably homemade, I haven’t seen any like this in any stores.”

“These are bones in your bracelet Ian,” Carl pipes up holding up the wrist band, smiling like the little psycho he is.

Ian takes the wrist band back to inspect it, “Of course you would know but probably fake ones anyway.” Ian is examining his initials, very interesting.

Fiona moves closer to him, “So who are you seeing Ian, to get this specially made gift basket.” Everyone is looking at him.

“I am not seeing anyone, I really don’t know.” Ian furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “Well I am tired, I am going to lay down before dinner.” He gathers up all the items, places them back in the basket and hurries upstairs.

Once Ian is in his room he closes the door then goes to sit on his bed, he takes off his jacket while removing the envelope from his pocket. He opens it, and of course he has no clue who it is from, the note is short, typed out and not signed. The note reads:

_Ian,_

_I really like you and I wanted to give you something nice. I hope you like them. The songs are a few that remind me of you in some way._

Ian thinks, what songs? Then he remembers there was something else in the envelope. He pulls out a small black skull looks at it for a minute, oh yeah songs. He pulls it open, it is a USB drive so he reaches for his laptop on his desk then plugs in the drive. He doesn’t have time to listen to them now as he hears Fiona yelling that dinner is ready, so he transfers the song files to his phone to listen to later. He reviews the song titles and bands, most appear to be metal songs from the ones he recognizes. Once they are finished, he can’t shake the weird felling he has as he heads downstairs to eat.

As they are eating, Lip asks, “So who sent the creepy but nice basket?”

“It wasn’t creepy and I don’t know, note wasn’t signed.”

“Aww, you have a secret admirer. I always wanted one of those.” Debbie sighs out. Ian just shakes his head, what is wrong with us.

Lip taps his fork on his plate, “No, he has a creepy stalker, so you better watch your back bro.”

“Just because I got a gift doesn’t mean someone is following me around and stalking me.” Ian is already fed up with this conversation.

“What’s the difference really? They are the same thing.” Fiona notes.

Carl stops eating, “Not true, a stalker is obsessed with you, ends up killing you, skins you, then wears your skin like a costume. Someone you probably wouldn’t like at all. A secret admirer is someone you think is hot and like them back...... both give you creepy gifts.”

“What the fuck Carl,” they all say looking at him.

“We are trying to eat dinner, where do you come up with this fucked up shit?” Fiona shakes her head.

Carl just shrugs and continues to eat as they all give each other looks. Ian is left wondering who sent this to him, a hot guy or a serial killer.

_____________________________________

The Songs

If I was your vampire – Marilyn Manson  
Burn – The Cure  
Die with me – Type O Negative  
Can’t lose you – Type O Negative  
3 libras – A Perfect Circle  
Slept so long – Jay Gordon  
Gonna get close to you – Queensryche  
You – Breaking Benjamin  
With you – Linkin Park  
What it is – Jonathan Davis  
The end of heartache – Killswitch Engage  
NIB – Black Sabbath  
I just want you – Ozzy Osbourne  


Ian wakes up and does his morning routine, then prepares for his morning run and listen to those songs. There were only 13 songs, odd number and Ian is even more confused after hearing them. It is like the wild thoughts of someone’s brain all over the place. He is no closer to the identity of his admirer, which he decided on admirer since it sounds better. Ian runs for an hour every day, is it also a coincidence the song list is just a couple minutes over his run time literally. He would get paranoid imagining someone was actually following him around, even though he did feel like he was being watched often, so he is not going to think about that.

Now overall the songs weren’t bad and Ian liked them, although some he just didn’t know how someone would be thinking of him listening to them. One song in particular was in fact a song about being stalked of all fucking things. And again, not going there.

For the next two weeks Ian couldn't think of anything else and became paranoid like he thought he would. He decided he needed to talk to someone... not his family though so he found himself sitting in Mandy’s living room. He explained what was going on and how he even got a few more gifts. He was kind of freaking out and couldn't tell if someone was really following him or if he was just freaking out and being paranoid or if his mind was playing tricks on him. Then on the other hand, he is lonely and kind of feels, well he isn’t sure how he feels. He continues to ramble when Mandy interrupts him.

“Wow Ian. Why didn't you tell me any of this sooner and I see you are wearing the wristband you got?” Mandy asks taking his hand to look at it.

“Well at first, I thought it was all really sweet and I really like it, it is different and unique even if it's made with tiny bones.” Ian explains.

Mandy examines the band on Ian's wrist... it is nice but bones really? This has an eerie feel to it but also somehow familiar she shakes it off as someone knocks on the door, startling both Ian and Mandy.

Mandy gets up, goes to the door and lets Kara in. “Hey Kara, this is my friend Ian.”

Kara smiles at Ian, “Hey nice to meet you I have heard a lot about you.”

Ian furrows his brows, “You have? I haven’t heard of you.”

She shakes his hand. “Yeah from Mandy while you were away... that's a nice wristband.”

Ian looks at the wristband, “Thanks, it was a gift.” Then Mickey comes out of his room, Ian had no idea he was home.

“Hey Army,” Mickey smiles as he enters the room.

Ian smiles so big, his whole face lights up. “Hi Mick, haven't seen you since I have been back. I have been wanting to catch up with you.”

“Shit I know we will have to catch up sometime soon but I have to go to work now... come on Kara” Mickey quickly mutters and then they are gone. 

Ian leans back on the couch and sighs. “Well, I didn't know he was here and he is more gorgeous than I remember. That is one of my problems too, no one will ever compare to Mickey so I imagine the most fucked up shit about other people. And he isn’t someone I can ever be with so fuck I don't know; my head is all over the place.”

Mandy just looks at Ian with his sparkling eyes, he is still so in love with her brother. She is a little pissed off now though, she has a feeling Mickey is Ian's admirer and she can't say shit. She knew something was familiar about that band, now she knew Kara had made it. She makes a lot of shit in her witchy craft shop at home. The biggest clue was that she never talked to Kara about Ian, so must have been Mickey. Fucking Mickey, she would have to talk to him later. “Oh, Ian everything will work out. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

‘So, who is Kara? His girlfriend?” Ian asks.

“Oh, no. She is just Mickey’s friend, they work together.” Mandy just leaves it at that.

_____________________

Once Mickey got in Kara’s car, he slammed his fist down on the dashboard. “Fuck, Ian thinks I am some creepy stalker.”

“Well he doesn’t know it's you and he is wearing the wristband you gave him.” Kara notes as she drives towards work.

Mickey heard Ian come in earlier and was listening to their conversation. He wasn’t eavesdropping since his door was cracked and Ian wasn’t quiet, all he had to do was step closer to the door of his room. First thing he noticed was that he really should have known better, Ian has bipolar disorder, which he read up on. So, he did understand how Ian was interpreting what he was doing as creepy, shit.

Mickey turns to Kara, “I didn’t notice but he showed it to Mandy, I heard her talking about it.”

Kara nods her head, “Yes, so that’s something. He may just want to talk it out with Mandy and I noticed he was extra happy when he saw you. Are you sure he doesn’t like you?” Kara also threw in how she heard about Ian before from Mandy, hopefully she will realize that Mickey is Ian’s secret admirer, he needs some help with this situation other than herself.

“I don’t even know, Mandy said he used to have a crush on me years ago. A lot has changed since then.” Mickey explains.

Mickey is deep in thought, “Well, I need to stop. I shouldn’t have done any of that shit. Just wait for the party and ask him out, maybe write him an apology or something. Fuck.” Mickey feels like such an asshole right now.

Kara pulls into the parking lot, “Sounds like a plan now time to think of a costume for you.”

“Oh yeah, what the fuck is up with tiny bones?” Mickey cocks his head at her.

Kara shrugs, “Look, my uncle is a taxidermist, he had this box of tiny animal bones. I decided to make jewelry with them... no need for them to go to waste. And it comes out really nice, it's not like I go out hunting tiny animals in my spare time. I made you one too, but you can’t have it until you ask him out.”

Mickey just lowers his head into his hands and starts rubbing circles with his thumbs at his temples. Well fuck, don’t really have an explanation for that besides, its Halloween and looks cool. Hopefully Ian doesn’t find it too creepy but he is wearing the thing so who knows.

_______________________________________

Mickey is still feeling like shit; how can he be such an idiot. He starts to write his letter and hopes Ian will believe him. As he is deep in thought about what he wants to say a lighter hit him in the back of the head. He turns around quickly and sees Mandy glaring at him.

“Hey dickhead, you want to smoke this joint?” Mandy says as she enters his room sitting next to him on his bed.

Mickey puts his notebook to the side, “Sure, why not?” His words are not coming to him trying to write the letter, maybe he needs to relax.

Mandy lights the joint, hands it to Mickey, trying to figure out how to bring up she knows it was him messing with Ian. “So, I know what you are doing with Ian. I just want to know why?” Direct approach always best.

Mickey chokes a little on the smoke he is holding in causing a coughing fit, he stutters out, “Don’t know what you are talking about shithead.”

“Don’t be an ass, I know it was you and I know Kara made that wristband for you to give him. Why are you doing it? You know about the problems he is having.” Mandy asks.

Mickey looks downs and sighs, “Look I don’t know. I just wanted to ask him out on a date but I never did that shit before and it just went downhill from there.”

They sit quiet for a bit smoking then Mandy looks at him, “I told you Ian had a crush on you, he would have said yes. Now you are just going to push him away with all this bullshit.”

“I know, it was not how I intended for it to go. I just can’t get out of my head and I end up doing stupid shit, but you said he had a crush on me before, what if he doesn’t like me anymore?”

Mandy chuckles a little, “You think it's that easy to get over someone when it has been years? He is just gonna wake up one day and think, oh I hate Mickey now?”

Mickey shrugs his shoulders, “I don’t fucking know. Anyway, I am going to write a letter and apologize, explain then give it a couple of weeks. Don’t say anything please.”

“Who are you? Saying please, trying to apologize and shit.” Mandy laughs, “Sounds like a good start I guess, but just ask him already he will say yes. I won’t say anything but quit being a pussy.” She gets up and leaves before he can say anything else, so he picks up the notepad and begins writing, remembering to be nice and no cussing, he can do this, hopefully it isn’t too long and Ian will read it. Fuck it, just put it all out there, too late to be worried about anything else.

______________________________

_Ian,_

_I never meant to make you uncomfortable or scared. I am sorry for how this went, so it will all stop. I just wanted to ask you out and when I couldn’t I just ended up acting stupid. I have liked you for so long and I was told you used to have a crush on me too, that is why I did this. But I thought you might not anymore since it's been a while, so here we are. I just hope you will forgive me and give me a chance, I will understand if you don’t._

_I want to explain the music, I did think of you while listening to them even if just a few lyrics meant something to me or how I feel about you. I am not good with words so music helps, also seems easier to write it down._

_If I was your vampire – first I don’t really want to be a vampire or either of us to die, but it is close to Halloween and I like this song. “This is where it starts, this is where it will end.”_  
_Burn -- “But every night I burn, but every night I call your name, every night I fall again.”_  
_Die with me – Again not about dying, “In each other’s arms we’ll drown in flame” -- goes with Can’t lose you, honestly, I just like Peter Steele’s voice, really calms me down when my mind is racing._  
_3 libras -- “Naked but oblivious and you don’t see me”_  
_Slept so long -- “I’ve slept so long without you.” It has taken me a long time to come to terms with how I feel, like I have been sleeping for years and just now waking up._  
_You -- “Lying to myself, why have I gone blind?”_  
_With You -- “The sound of your voice, painted on my memories, even if you’re not with me.”_  
_What it is -- “I have done everything, everything not to feel what it is I’m feeling.” This song is really how I felt about myself for so long._  
_Gonna get close to you -- “If you knew my infinite charm, there’d be no reason to be so alarmed.” This song is what I ended up doing even though I did not mean to. Please see past this it is not who I am._  
_The end of heartache -- “Seek me, call me, I’ll be waiting” This is the hope I have._  
_N.I.B. -- “You are the first to have this love of mine.” I have never felt this way before but this is just really a badass song with a bass solo in the intro._  
_I just want you – all in the title._

__

_Anyway, I am going to back off but I will see you on Halloween. Should give me enough time to gather the nerve to ask you out on a date and I hope you will say yes._

After Ian reads the letter, he thinks it can’t be who he wishes it to be. He is so confused, but there is only one person he has ever truly had a crush on. He has found other guys hot or nice but they never stayed on his mind long. Who is he kidding he still has a crush on Mickey even today, but there is no way that Mickey would do this and he is straight right? Then again, some of this does remind him of Mickey now that he thinks about it and he kind of bared his soul in this letter. It had to be hard to write some of this without knowing what the result will be. And he knows Mickey well enough to know that this isn’t something he would normally do. Damn, Ian does not want to get his hopes up, he has a lot to think about, but he is 90% sure this is Mickey. The why and how will plague his thoughts until Halloween, glad it isn’t too far away.

_______________________________

Halloween is finally here, Ian is nervous, he has no idea what to expect. The last few days went by slowly. He didn’t receive any more gifts or anything and he would be lying to himself to say he didn’t miss the attention. The party is in full swing and no sign of Mickey yet. He doesn’t know what he is going to be dressed up as and is having a hard time even imagining him going through the effort. Mandy came over early to get ready and told him Mickey was going to let Kara help him with his costume, so she didn’t know either. Mandy was acting strange the last couple of weeks but he didn’t want to ask her about it in case it had to do with his admirer and then slashing his hopes.

Two hours into the party, everyone was having a good time. Ian ended up leaning on the wall near the kitchen sipping on his one beer for the night. He scanned the room taking in everyone’s costume, some were ridiculous, some slutty, and others just typical like his own cheap costume, Robin Hood, he had on a hooded peasant jacket with a bow and arrow slung over his shoulder.

Ian is lost in thought and didn't notice when Mickey arrived. This gave Mickey a chance to take in the view, he looks cute standing there all rustic looking with his hood on. He sees Ian run a hand across his forehead then through his red hair lowering his hood. Mickey also notices that he is wearing the wristband which reminds him why he was there. It is now or never, he thinks but he needs a beer first.

Mickey ends up drinking 3 beers while watching Ian, before he finally makes his way to talk to him, damn he was on edge. He makes his way through all the drunk costumed fools, taps on Ian's shoulder, "So do you like your gift?" he asks pointing at his wrist as Ian takes him in. Fuck, what a stupid thing to say.

Ian looks him up and down. He is dressed as death, black jeans, long hooded black trench coat with skeleton gloved hands and face painted as a skull. Well this could be Mickey, he is the right height, can't see his tattooed fingers or much else but can't mistake those blue eyes which are really bright right now. "I can't hear over the music, want to go outside?” Ian lies, nodding towards the back door.

Mickey nods and follows Ian out the back door. It is chilly and dark out but that doesn't stop his heart from racing while Ian is looking at him expectantly with piercing green eyes. He is so screwed as he attempts to distract himself by grabbing a cigarette about to light it, "just asked if you liked your gift."

Ian did not answer him but instead grabbed his hand and dragged him down the stairs, his beer and cigarette falling to the ground. "fuck, what are you doing?"

Once on the side of the house Ian pushes Mickey against the wall, slips his hand under the hood and runs his hand through his hair lowering Mickey’s hood in the process. He starts to speak but is interrupted by Ian lowering his head and kissing him like he was about to disappear. He is surprised at first but returns the kiss and it feels so good until he snaps out of it and pushes Ian away, "What the fuck man. You don't even know who I am."

Ian laughs lowly, "sure I do asshole. Think I don't know your voice, your eyes, almost everything about you. You think you can hide under all that. I am surprised though that you are my stalker and gay. But I am not complaining.... I am very happy in fact.... Mickey." Ian throws his name in there too just so he does know he knows who he is.

Mickey starts waving his hand around at a loss for words,"Fuck, how?"

"Well I wasn't 100% at first, after I read the letter, I had a feeling since I only ever had a crush on you and you just confirmed it tonight right now."

"Bullshit!" Mickey doesn’t believe that.

"No, it's true, been dreaming about you since I was 15, now don't you have something to ask me?" Ian smirks cockily. It is dark but Mickey can make out the gesture.

"You're a dick you know?” Mickey says but he does ask. “Will you go on a date with me?"

Ian smiles, "of course I will. Where you going to take me?"

"Not sure, didn’t think that far ahead, really wasn't sure you would say yes." Mickey just can't take it anymore places his hand on Ian's neck pulling him down to kiss him again. He finally feels like he can breathe, so relieved he can stop overthinking everything.

They make out against the wall for a few minutes. Ian pulls back, "it's cold, you want to head back in, hang out in my room? We have a lot to talk about."

"Sure… sounds good."

Ian grabs his hand, as they head back inside, he stops and says, "oh and I am not going to fuck you until the third date. I want to do this right and I don’t want to rush this."

Mickey lightly pushes his shoulder, "you are such a fucking dork. Who says you are going to fuck me anyway, what if I want to fuck you?"

Ian thinks about it, “Well I don’t normally bottom but with you, I could make an exception.”

“Oh, how nice of you,” Mickey says snidely. “We can talk about what we prefer later, since it is not happening soon.”

They start laughing walking inside. They run right into Mandy and Lip standing by the back door talking.

"So, you idiots finally figured it out?" Mandy laughs at them, "damn, look at you two." She pulls out her phone snapping a quick picture.

Lip walks over places his hand on Ian's shoulder, "yeah, you two look fucked up, may want to clean yourselves up."

It was dark outside so they turn to each other to see what they are laughing at, what a sight indeed. Ian laughs, "oh shit, your make up is all smeared, look more like a ghost now."

Mickey huffs, "well gotta look better than you.... You look like a jacked-up grey clown not red riding hood."

“It is Robin Hood, not red riding hood. I lost my bow and arrow somewhere too.” Ian laughs.

Ian turns back to Mandy and Lip, "well doesn't matter, we are going on a date someday soon." Ian grabs Mickeys hand, "we will be in my room if you need us, which you won't so don't bother. Enjoy the party."

Mickey now realizes he was so worried for no reason. Mickey smiles and thinks to himself as Ian leads the way upstairs, _happy fucking Halloween to me._

  
The look for their costumes  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)


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